We live in expensive times and trying to date on a budget can be harmful to your relationships if you’re viewed as a cheap tightwad. In days gone by, men used to always pick the check on dates, but thankfully this requirement has changed a little. Dutch dating is a wonderful way to have fun together and easing the financial pressure on just one person.
Dutch dating means that each person pays his or her part. It’s also called a Dutch Date or Dutch Treat, quite common in some countries such as Sweden where couples take turns paying the check or splitting it.
Dutch dating can be a touchy subject, and it may be socially unacceptable, depending on where you live. In America, this practice is typically more common with less affluent people. Interestingly enough, in the late 60s and 70s, feminists set a trend for women to pay their own expenses. They became offended if the gentleman grabbed the check Many felt if the man paid for the dinner, she might be expected to provide favors later.
The rule of thumb is that the person asking the other one out is usually the one paying for everything. This is particularly common if it’s the first date. Even if the man is the one who usually asks someone out, it doesn’t always work that way.
In cases when men have asked a woman out on a first date, he should probably just go ahead and pay for everything. Women however, should be mindful of her expenses and not go overboard when ordering or suggesting places to go.
Some women are more than willing to share expenses to have a little control over the date, and they usually speak their opinion right away. That way, if the date flunks, she doesn’t have to feel she owes the other person anything. It is probably a good idea for the man to pay for everything on the first date, especially if he thinks another date can be in the works, even if his partner is willing to share the costs of the evening.
That might be a good time to talk about the Dutch Date possibility. See what the other person thinks. If anything, it can be something interesting to talk about. If you’re having trouble deciding on who’s going to pay, flip a coin or perhaps one of you get the tip and the other the check.
If you are the one to pay the bill, feel free to use a coupon if you have one. Some restaurants offer buy one get one free deals. You can just add the coupon to your payment, and most likely your date will never even know you did.
When you plan your date, try to go to a restaurant on one of their “special nights”, so that you can choose your meal from the discounted menu. If you brag about a certain special, it can even give you an angle to invite your date out to dinner. Just because you are sharing costs, there is no reason at all to waste money. She should be able to admire the fact that you are not just out to waste money. In fact, that’s something that should be appreciated both ways.
Sharing expenses can be a little awkward in a romantic or business situation. Make sure you consider each situation differently. A return engagement may depend on your picking up at least the first check. Depending on the success of the first date, there will be many other chances to split checks in the future, and neither of you will probably mind.
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